It’s been a very long time since I’ve written anything on here… It’s down to many reasons really. One is that life really gets in the way sometimes and another one is that I simply haven’t been bothered (and I’ve been reluctant) of having to confront my emotions and write, with the aim to inspire myself and others. 2020 has been a very strange year to say the least, and of top of trying to understand what’s going on in the world, identifying and growing from my own personal challenges as well has been overwhelming.
Whilst dealing with [redacted] (that deadly flu that we’ve seen the word of everyday this year), the Black Lives Matter movement and LIFE, it’s safe to say that your sis is exhausted.
I have many fabulous people in this life of mine that’s been extremely proactive in these times, and they have inspired me to take on my writing again and do a quick reflection on what’s helped me get through this year which is indeed: the art of staying still, enjoying my own company and finding peace with it.
Being a naturally emotional person that feels energy around me is something I’ve spent years trying to have control over, or at least trying to become more immune to. I have put an end to limiting my value and I’ve stopped myself and others from calling me words that do not define me. Setting boundaries is instantaneous in every conversation I have, because I honour my space and emotions too much to allow anyone to negatively impact them. Confronting this is what’s kept me extremely grounded this year. Feeling vulnerable and spending time with myself has made life more comfortable, as I’ve found it easier to reflect than overthink.
With wins in life there are also losses. Yin and yang, absolutely natural and beyond expected. I have gone through different elements of loss – from relationships with others to grievances. Losing people on any scale is hard, but cherishing the good memories is what I try to keep my focus on.
Going away to Mykonos on a last minute spontaneous trip has taught me to always find the silver lining. Life could look so whack at every angle, but I remain thankful for my family and those that genuinely care about my mental health and spiritual development. I have a roof over my head, two beautiful parents that love and support me through everything, a job where I can truly be myself and thrive in and an unbelievably strong support system.
I don’t know what these next few months are going to entail, and I don’t know how long things are going to stay like this either, but I know that better days are coming.
I dedicate this piece to my dear friend, my big sister Shannon, who encouraged me to write this when I had absolutely no willpower in my soul to do so. She’s one of many people that’s held me accountable, and she knew that for me, writing was one thing I was extremely hesitant in doing. Well, I did it Shann! Thank you for your constant motivation.
Nay xo
JANAY MARIE 